| Woke up this morningPut on my slippers
 Walked in the kitchen and died
 And oh what a feeling!
 When my soul
 Went thru the ceiling
 And on up into heaven I did ride
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 | When I got there they did say John, it happened this way
 You slipped upon the floor
 And hit your head
 And all the angels say
 Just before you passed away
 These were the very last words
 That you said:
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        | Please don't bury me Down in that cold cold ground
 No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
 And pass me all around
 Throw my brain in a hurricane
 And the blind can have my eyes
 And the deaf can take both of my ears
 If they don't mind the size
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 | Give my stomach to Milwaukee If they run out of beer
 Put my socks in a cedar box
 Just get "em" out of here
 Venus de Milo can have my arms
 Look out! I've got your nose
 Sell my heart to the junkman
 And give my love to Rose
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        | Give my feet to the footloose Careless, fancy free
 Give my knees to the needy
 Don't pull that stuff on me
 Hand me down my walking cane
 It's a sin to tell a lie
 Send my mouth way down south
 And kiss my ass goodbye
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